The Pretty Pear

Some random thoughts

I'm trying to muster up some excitement about clothes for fall, shoes, and whatever but really, I'm pretty bummed out from CNN overload, the economy, this crazy election and other crap. I'll need to think of some fun things to post about to take my mind off the not-fun things going on right now.

I know I'm not the only one who's concerned about the economy and is hesitant to spend money on non-essentials. This makes it hard to come up with stuff to write about when your blog is basically about shopping. I'm trying to reconcile my nearly obsessive need to think about clothing (and shoes,  handbags, makeup...) with my awareness that most of us are struggling right now at least a little, if not a whole lot.

I'm not feeling the strain personally, not yet. I don't have kids, a house, a car, or much of anything, quite honestly. I don't have little ones to feed and clothe. It's just me. But I still worry - that I'll never be able to buy a home, be able to comfortably start a family, or save for retirement.

But I don't worry that it will always be like this. I worry because that's what I do, not because I believe good things won't happen or that bad things are inevitable. I worry but I know the tide will turn.

So this is all to say that hey, I am bummed out right now and I think we all should be bummed out right now, if not seriously alarmed. There's some crazy shit going down. It's like we are all, collectively, standing at a crossroads and no one knows which direction we'll choose. You don't know what insanity you'll wake up to or how to plan for a future that's so uncertain.

It certainly helps to have something to believe in. I personally have hitched my hope wagon to the Obama train. I'm not going to tell you who to vote for because that's your damn business. But I will tell you that having someone like Obama to look up to and truly, deeply believe in makes this all a little easier to handle. It doesn't make me totally psyched about the craziness going on right now but it does make me hopeful for the future.

It's totally human to look to someone or something else for an answer, any answer. It could be God, it could be a politician, it could be yourself. But to worry for the future with no vision of something better is a road to despair and defeat. I don't plan to be defeated and I do not live in despair.

Five years

I forgot to mention it at the time but this blog's 5th birthday was on July 17th. That's right, five years. I'm pretty sure that's about 20 years in internet time! I was planning to do a big 5th birthday post, giveaway, etc. and chances are I might still do that, just not today. Today I want to relax and be lazy :)

Thanks for reading my blog, commenting, emailing, etc. I would've given up a long time ago without the support of you awesome people.

Nikki Blonsky, Father Arrested

Usmagazine.com: Hairspray's Nikki Blonsky, Father Arrested.

Hairspray's Nikki Blonsky and her father were arrested Wednesday after getting into a fight with a woman at Providenciales International Airport in Turks and Caicos.

Seriously?? Nikki, honey, come ON.

Camera dodging

I went to my little niece's third birthday party last weekend and at some point, my sister forced me into a picture with my parents and grandmother. Well, maybe forced is the wrong word. I was standing there and she took a picture. Anyway, I just saw the picture and this was my internal dialogue:

"Hey, I don't look as big as I thought! Wait.. is it bad for me to think that? Maybe I don't look as big because of the way I'm standing. I should write a post about how I don't look as big as I thought I do in pictures. Why do I always avoid taking pictures? I'm not photogenic but there's like, no photographic evidence of my existence. That's sad. Ok, I'll crop the family out and post the picture! Wait. My not so fat is someone else's omg fat. I don't want to be someone else's omg fat. Ok, no picture."

Happy anniversary to adipositivity!

If you haven't visited adipositivity, you really should take a look through the archives at all of the beautiful photography of fat women. It's not safe for work but the photographs are always tasteful.

The site has been around for a year and I'm still often taken aback by seeing photographs of women whose bodies look like mine. Some of them look so much like mine that it's almost jarring. Images like these can be profoundly liberating if you're used to a society that wants nothing more than to hide fat bodies.

It's a much-needed contribution to the world of photography and to the lives of women like me who are told, subtly or overtly, to hide our bodies away so no one can see.

Got to let it be.

I always feel bad when I go a few days without posting here but, in my own defense, I've been stressed out lately. I'm giving myself a little break, especially because tomorrow is my birthday. Woohoo. I'll be back in full swing next week.

In honor of me, I demand that you watch this video of my favorite Madonna moment ever. It's awesome on so many levels.

Hey, you. YOU.

I give and I give and I give to you people. With your questions (that I totally ask for) and your comments (that I love). Well, it's your turn to help me out. Well, not me, but kind of.

I was contacted recently by a reporter from a Big Deal Newspaper. He's researching the plus size market and products for fat people, etc., you know the deal. He's looking for personal stories from actual fat people to complement the rest of the piece. More details and info after the link.

Update
I've decided to close the comments on this post because I'm not getting the type of responses I was looking for, though I do appreciate your stories. If you'd like to talk with the reporter about the types of things he asked about, please use the contact form and I'll provide his information.

Happy Valentine's Day, puppies!

I know, I know. All the cool kids hate Valentine's Day and I kind of do, too but... not really. How can I hate pink hearts and chocolate and random proclamations of adoration? I do happen to have a boyfriend but if I didn't, I still wouldn't hate Valentine's Day all that much.

Maybe it'd be different if I worked in an office and had to watch all of the other cubicle monkeys relish in their roses and candies? I probably wouldn't even mind that so much as long as they shared their candy with me. I would be annoyed with the ubiquitous perky lady who would pretend to feel sorry for me because I'm single and SO ALONE. But the joke's on you, perky lady because I can buy my own damn candy!

Ahem.

Well, whatever. I'm making a conscious effort to be a more positive person, which is hard when you're as cynical and sarcastic as I am. But sitting around and brooding and cursing because of one Hallmark holiday is not healthy!

So instead, today is a day of thanks and thankfulness. I am thankful for all of you, who comment on each post and ask questions and are as enthusiastic about a clearance sale as I am. Have a happy Valentine's Day, or at least find the strength to white knuckle your way through it without clobbering someone with a heart shaped box of chocolates.

Goin' to California

I'll be out of town for the rest of this week. I was hoping to have some stuff pre-written to post while I'm gone but it didn't turn out that way. I do have some stuff to write about when I get back, though. In the mean time, you probably already know about this great New York Times article about the Fatosphere but I'm so dang proud of everyone mentioned in the piece that I had to link to it.

Something to chew on

Without getting too much into whether dieting is good or bad, because that's a can of worms I'm not in the mood to open today, I have been thinking about something somewhat diet related. This is completely unrelated to fashion so feel free to keep scrolling if you're uninterested.

If one is anti-diet, is it wrong (for the lack of a better word, because wrongness is pretty subjective) for that person to eat foods that are diet foods? I would say "diet foods" but I mean actual diet foods, like the cereals and the microwavable meals which shall not be named because Google will be all over it.

Here's the thing - I don't diet but there are some diet foods that I buy because they're convenient and I actually enjoy them. There are a few of those microwavable meals that are pretty damn tasty and the special (ahem!) cereal has the space age dried fruit that I happen to like. But by purchasing these foods, am I just giving money to, and in turn supporting, the companies that are trying to get money from people who diet, which I disagree with?

That seems pretty cut and dry, of course I am! But how far does that go? What if something is labeled "low fat" but isn't specifically a diet food? If they took the time to label it as low fat, are they trying to imply that it will help you lose weight? Am I doing a disservice to the Fat Acceptance movement by eating foods labeled as low fat?

And this is where my brain starts spinning its wheels and I decide to just eat whatever I want because it's not like my $2.58 is a huge deal anyway.

Or is it? *eyebrow*

Figures...

I have a wicked cold and I'm sure I won't be over it until Christmas day or something. I probably won't be posting here much over the next week so I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, joy to the world, etc.

Cheer me up, damn you!

This time of year is always tough and it seems to get worse after the New Year. There's always that dreadful gap between the holidays and my birthday in March, when spring is right around the corner and I start to feel more like a human being again. Winter is just so dark and dreary and honestly, a little depressing.

If you look back through the years of writing I've done here, you'll see that there's always a drop off in the winter. I think I have that Seasonal Affect Disorder thing going on but honestly, who doesn't feel a little less peppy when it's 12 degrees and cloudy outside? Having said that, I'm determined to keep myself out of that hole as much as possible this time around and I need your help.

I want you to leave comments on this post with a silly story, a fashion question, a silly fashion question, whatever you can think of. Is there something you want me to write about that isn't exactly a question? Is there something you're in love with right now that you want to share? How do you get through the winter blues? What color are you favorite pajamas? Just leave a comment and perk me up.

I do have some ideas for posts coming up so don't worry, I'm not going anywhere :P

Check these out

If you don't believe that fat people are discriminated against and need proof, check out First. Do No Harm. It's a website for fat people to share real stories of prejudice in health care. Each story is a testament to why there needs to be a radical change in the way fat people are treated by the medical community.

I was lucky enough to attend the first ever Big Fat Blog Think Tank this past weekend. You can read more about that event here and here. If you'd like to get involved with fat rights and you're not sure where to start, please check out this post from Big Fat Blog. Paul's listed some great volunteer opportunities that need to be addressed right away. And if you have an idea or special area of interest that isn't listed there, please let him know.

Lastly, the National Eating Disorders Association is holding their 3rd annual Every BODY is Beautiful Online Auction until December 2nd. Proceeds from the auction will benefit the NEDA, which works to prevent eating disorders and provide treatment referrals to those suffering from anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder and those concerned with body image and weight issues.

Annnnnd....

I think I'll stick to fashion posts for right now. I have a lot to say about Fat Acceptance and fat issues but I need some time to think things out. These are important issues and I want to make sure my thoughts are organized. My last post was written at about 3 am and I maybe didn't say things exactly the way I wanted to. I do stand behind my views, though. Just keep this in mind - we're all in this together. I don't think less of people who diet or have weight loss surgery. I just think the focus needs to be shifted to fat people and not just fat. Dieting and WLS shouldn't be allowed to divide us when we're all ultimately fighting for the same things.

Anyway. Back to fashion.

In case anyone's wondering...

Diets - I don't think they're a good idea. In fact, my own personal experiences and reading a lot of solid evidence has proven to me that dieting is a really bad idea. I'm just as fat, if not fatter, than I would've been had I never dieted at all and the only thing dieting ever gave me was a neurotic obsession with food and the calories therein. Actively trying to lose weight never made my life any happier or my body any healthier. In fact, dieting never made me anything but miserable after the initial optimism wore off.

Weight loss surgery - Another bad idea that could potentially lead to disaster. It sickens me that so many people elect to have their stomachs essentially amputated in an act of desperation. At the very least, I think it should be considered only in the most extreme situations, if at all. For clarification, being 40 pounds "over weight" is not an extreme situation. The fact that so many doctors are willing to perform the surgery on those who are not even medically "obese" is just a testament to how desperate people are to be thin. And it's true, we live in a society that values a dead fat person over a live fat person. At least the dead fat person tried to conform.

I know what it's like to live in a body that the world is telling me will ultimately break down and that my existence is worthless because of something as trivial as my weight. Someone left a comment and asked what size I wear - I'm a 22/24 in tops and a 26 in most jeans. My BMI (urgh) is 51%. Supposedly, HALF of my body is fat.