The Pretty Pear

A question about sweaters from Lane Bryant

This comment was posted by Suzannah on an earlier post:

Just a Lane Bryant question? Have you tried on any of their new sweaters? I was just at the website, I have never ordered anything from them, and have two friends who contradicted each other, one says everything runs large, the other the opposite! I love the cable knit babydoll sweater and the space dye tie front cardigan. I think the closest store may carry them but that is still 45 mins one way!! Just wondering your opinion, maybe a good sale going on!

I haven't been into a Lane Bryant store very recently so I haven't seen the new sweaters in person yet. I can say that, at least for me, Lane Bryant's sweater/top sizing is very consistent with the size chart. I've worn a 22/24 in every top I've bought there for the last, I don't know, 7 years or so and that's with some weight loss and gain. If I was forced to say whether their tops run big or small, I'd say they run on the slightly bigger side. Not huge, just generous.

Before you go hopping in the car, I should point out the following:

The website sometimes gets new items before stores do. You might want to call ahead to see if they have the new sweaters you're looking at online.

This is the first round of fall stuff. They'll get more sweaters as the season progresses. This initial crop is looking very promising, though.

Lastly, buying clothes when they first come out is tempting but wait. All this new stuff will go on sale soon, believe me. Just wait for a sweater sale or for a really good coupon to pop up. Lane Bryant sometimes has 40% off coupons you can use online. Those are great if you're confident about your size. You can also sign up to get on their email list and they'll send you coupons you can print out or you can have them mailed to you. Don't ever pay full price at Lane Bryant!

Ask Me Anything, the wedding edition!

Erica asks:

I want to help my Mom find the perfect Mother-of-the-Bride dress. My wedding isn't for quite awhile, but I know it will take some time for us to shop around. To describe her: she just turned 50, but she acts likes she's 21; she has short, curly blond hair; she's tall (5'10" maybe?); and wears 18/20 (top) and 22/24 (bottom). We're looking for a modern, chic, and formal (but not black-tie/ballroom formal) long dress that would be worn in early October. So far, the dresses we find are frumpy, dumpy, and ugly...or just not quite right. To get to the point, do you have any suggestions of shops that would have what we're looking for?

Long dresses can be tough, especially if you're looking for modern and chic. It'll be extra hard to find one with sleeves that isn't at least a little frumpy, so I'd toss that idea out the window and find a wrap to wear if it's chilly.

I personally really love the plus size selection at Nordstrom. If you search for "Cachet plus" in the search form, it'll return several dresses that your mom might like. The wrap dress in plum pictured on the left is a gorgeous example that just so happens to be on sale for 70% off.

I'd definitely look for an A-line cut because of her top and bottom size differences. For dresses like this, check the size chart and order by the bust size. You can then have it altered to shorten the straps, nip in the waist, etc. Luckily, your mom is model height so the length shouldn't be much of an issue with a long dress.

From ChristianeF:

Two of my friends are getting married in May (one at the beginning, one at the end) and I have no idea what to wear. To make it a little more complicated, both weddings will have essentially the same group of people, so I need not one outfit, but two!

Any ideas on something a short (5 feet), chubby (20-ish, but not very chesty) girl could wear both times (perhaps with some changing of accessories?) without being laughed at? I'm thinking dress, but I'm not married to it (haha). Preferably not too expensive. (Fussy fussy.)

You know who should be the official patron saint for short, fat women everywhere? Nikki Blonsky. She works it! The dress she has on in that picture is the Maya chiffon dress from IGIGI. It's likely more formal than what you're looking for but I wanted to show you a fabulous shortie in a formal dress as inspiration.

You didn't mention what type of wedding these are, so I'm assuming they're of the basic day ceremony, evening reception variety. Since you're wearing the same dress twice (which is fine, by the way), you'll probably want to look for something simple and understated. That doesn't mean the dress itself has to be boring but it shouldn't be a bright color or print that's immediately recognizable.

Here are some options:

Mia dress from b&lu
This comes in black but the red and blue are prettier and not so gloomy for spring weddings. It looks like it'd be easy to hem. You could wear gold accessories for one wedding and silver for the other, etc. Easy.

Olivia Harper Charlotte Dress from Cherished Woman
Not inexpensive but it's pretty and I kind of just wanted to link to it.

Mossimo V-Neck Dress from Target
Hey, it's $30 and you might be surprised at how nice dresses from Target can be, especially if you're only really planning to wear it a few times. Even then, I've noticed that their plus size dresses are pretty awesome. What's even better is that there are about 9,000 Target locations so you can probably try on dresses in person. Amazing!

I hope that helps, ladies. Have fun!

Spring jackets + packing that suitcase!

Inz asks:

Help! I'm on the hunt for a cute, light-weight trench that will go with everything and wont get too wrinkled being packed in a suitcase. I tried on one from Target (beige and brown polka dots, REALLY cute, I think everyone needs to go try this on) but it didn't work for me because it was too tight in the arms, and it was a bit heavier than what I'm looking for. Any suggestions? Also, how about some tips for packing for a trip? I'm leaving for a two week trip to Europe in a month. I don't know if I should try to focus on dresses, or just pack jeans and tops, how many pairs of shoes, it's all overwhelming me. Any tips or advice would be awesome.

I've seen that trench at Target and it is really cute!

Anyway, this is a good time of year to shop for lightweight outerwear. About a month ago, I picked up a really nice, longish, black jacket from Macy's. It's not a trench style (no belt) but it's lightweight and has a bit of an A line cut so the fit is just right. I don't think it's on their website but I'd check to see if there are others you like. I've been a little ambivalent about Macy's in the past (I am a Chicago girl, after all) but I always end up finding things I like when I go there. Nordstrom has several nice trench styles as well.

Now, as for packing, I've never had to prepare for an extended trip but based on the packing I've had to do, I can offer some tips anyway.

I honestly start with shoes. Crazy, right? But here's why: you have to think about what you'll be doing when you're on your trip and your footwear will play into this more than anything. If you're going to be walking a lot, you'll need comfortable, supportive shoes and building cute outfits around walking shoes can be tough. But if it's more of a business related trip, you'll likely need more formal shoes that don't necessarily have to be suitable for walking.

Note about questions & the Think Tank

I've fallen so behind on answering your questions. If you've left a comment there or have sent me an email and you're waiting for a response, please be patient, I will get to as many as I can. I love getting questions so keep them coming. There just aren't enough hours in the day sometimes! Also, I do enjoy putting together full outfits so if there's an item you can't figure out how to wear or you need specific examples of outfits for a certain scenario, leave a comment about that, too.

Tomorrow is the Think Tank! I'm really looking forward to meeting new fat acceptance folks and having a fun few hours sharing ideas. If you can't be there, Paul will be Twittering the event, so you can follow right along.

Beyond the basic tee

Sara asks:

I am a stay-at-home mother of two, and I want to know a couple pieces that can improve my "jeans-and-tee" look. I have a really hard time spending money on myself, so it kinda has to last a while, and look good.

Sara, we must have some kind of psychic connection because when you submitted this question, I was in the middle of writing a post about this very topic.

I'm a casual kind of girl. Most days, I'm in some sort of knit top and jeans. But you will very rarely see me in a plain ol' cotton crewneck tee. This is mostly because those cute, clever, trendy t-shirts don't come in "big girl" sizes and the men's shirts are boxy. Instead, I look for knit tops that are casual but effortlessly stylish. Plus, if you have a collection of cute knit tops, it makes dressing way easy. Throw on a top, jeans, cute shoes, simple accessories and you're done.

I have some general rules when it comes to tees:

1. When a tee is worn out or noticeably faded, get rid of it. Tees tend to be on the inexpensive side so don't hang onto them when they're past their prime. It helps if you take good care of them in the laundry.
2. Color! Pattern! Something!
3. Pay attention to shape. I like close fitting but not tight tops with interesting sleeves, simple seaming details, etc. A little spandex helps to hold shape so you're not drooping and stretched out by mid-afternoon. Avoid anything boxy and instead opt for shirts that hug your curves.
4. I prefer non-crewneck necklines, like V necks and wider U necklines. This is mostly a comfort issue because crewnecks feel restrictive to me but it also helps lengthen the neck and all that.
5. Length is also important. Too short can look awkward and too long can make me look shorter. I aim for hip-length or just a little longer.

Basically, we're talking about knit tops that fall into the "tee" category but aren't the standard crewneck t-shirt. They can often be dressed up or down depending on the outfit and accessories. The easiest way to update your wardrobe is with color. Bright yellow, electric blue, and leaf green are always big for spring but any bright color that you like can instantly add life to your closet.

My favorite knit tops that I own are from Kiyonna and Lane Bryant. Kiyonna is excellent for good quality knit tops that fit like a dream and are comfortable, very comfortable. Lane Bryant always had a big selection of tees and tops in a whole range of styles and colors and they're always very affordable.

I hope that helps, Sara!

Have a question? Ask me here!

Advice for... business casual

M asks:

I'm starting a new job in two weeks. The office that I'll be working in classifies their dress code as Business Casual. I did ask if jeans were appropriate (since I saw people wearing them during my interviews there). "Jeans are okay, but we dress Business Casual..." was the reply? I've been unemployed for two years so my casual wardrobe is pretty much non-existent. I'm not sure where to start to rebuild my work wardrobe. What key pieces should I start with so that I'm not repeating outfits on my 2nd week of work? I'm a 24P and lately I feel like the shirts I see in Lane Bryant or Avenue are just getting tacky! I'd like to stick to classic pieces...

Ah, business casual. Here's the thing - I work from home and I have never worked in an actual office. I know, go ahead and hate me. But lack of experience won't keep me from having an opinion (never has!)

Here's a good rule: look at what your boss or direct superior is wearing and model your work wardrobe after that. People in management have likely been with the company for a while and are more inclined to adhere to the company standards in terms of dress code and office culture. And there's the old saying - dress for the job you want. Chances are, you want to move up so you might as well dress the part.

Wedding dress suggestions for Carrie

Carrie asks:

I'm wondering if anyone has recommendations regarding where to find a wedding dress to suit someone that is a) short, and b) plus size and c) hippy. I'm looking for something casual yet elegant, perfect for a garden wedding... no trains, no poufy skirts, no bows. I'm a size 20, and 5'4". My waist isn't well defined because I'm short in the torso. I'm thinking something that falls straight with a slight flow on the bottom might make sense? The other idea I've been kicking around is something with a v-neck shape. I have to get over my disdain for my upper arms as there aren't a lot of options that have arms (most are sleeveless that I've seen).

Carrie, the answer I'm about to give you comes directly from every episode of "What Not to Wear" I've ever seen. I can't take credit for any of it.

I'd look for a dress that falls to the knee or right below (RIGHT below, right under the kneecap), has an A line shape to the skirt, has a waist band that hits right under your bust, and a V neck, preferably of the wrap variety. The dress on the left from Lane Bryant is sold out but it's the shape I'm thinking of but the skirt is longer than what I'd look for. If you look for a dress that doesn't have layers or crinolines or whatever the fluff is, you can have a slightly too long dress shortened easily.

If a cocktail length dress is too informal and you want a long dress, still go for an A line shape for the skirt. A long, straight dress will make you look shorter than you are. An A line skirt and waist band right under the bust will create a waist and make your legs appear longer, and the V neck will draw the eye up and balance your hips. You're basically giving the illusion of an hourglass shape. If that's what you're looking to do, definitely go for more of an A line, rather than just a slight flow outwards at the hem.

As for your arms, many wedding dresses now are sleeveless and those that aren't flirt dangerously with looking dowdy. All I can say is that if you find a dress that's sleeveless but is perfect in every other way and you feel drop dead gorgeous in it, don't let your fear of baring your arms scare you away from the dress. I promise that your arms are fine and I haven't even seen them.

Good luck, Carrie! Let us know how your dress hunt goes.

Got a question? Need advice? Ask me here.

Still looking to offer excellent advice...

I'm feeling a little uninspired this week. Maybe you could ask me something? If you've asked me a question in other posts or in email and you haven't gotten a response, please leave a comment on the questions post. I'm kind of OCD about these things so if a question is there, I'll feel compelled to answer it. Come on, ask me! You can see some previous questions and answers here.

Measuring up

Bunnah asks:

Where do girls with big "girls" go to get measured? I would love to go to a professional to be measured, but I don't think many of the boutique shops would carry my size? (I'm, at a minimum (I think) a 44D.) Help?! (FYI... I'm not sure where you're located, or if anyone will have any ideas for my local area, but I'm from the DC area.)

This is a good question, Bunnah. They (whoever they are) say you should be measured once a year, or whenever you lose or gain a significant amount of weight. You should also replace your bras every six months. Realistically, if you take good care of your bras and hand wash them, they should last a bit longer than that. It also helps to rotate your bras every day and give them at least a day to let the elastic rest.

Anyway, where to go? I just went this past weekend to my local Lane Bryant because my favorite bras felt a little off. I measured at the same size I have forever (44D, go figure) but I decided to try a few different styles in different sizes. I bought three styles of bras in two different sizes, 42 and 44 C. Your size can differ between styles, even from the same store. It's like clothes - figure out a baseline size and then go up and down from there depending on how each style fits.

Lane Bryant employees are all trained on how to properly measure bra size and help a customer select styles. Most major department stores also train the employees in their lingerie department on how to measure for bras. I don't know of specialty lingerie stores in the DC area but the Yellow Pages is a good place to start. I'd call ahead and tell them that you want a bra fitting. They might even make a special appointment for you so you get all the attention and time you need.

Wherever you go, it's unlikely that anyone will care if you have larger breasts. In fact, they're trained to help fit women of all sizes and bras now come in a huge array of sizes and shapes. Getting the right fit can be tricky, though so set aside some time, be patient, and be open to trying styles and sizes that you might not pick for yourself. Be honest about how each bra fits and don't settle for "ok." The right bra should support without being uncomfortable.

And one last tip - bring a bottle of water. Trust me.

Have a question? Ask me here!

Water resistant jackets and ski wear

Shannon asks:

I live in Seattle and winter is approaching, which means rain. Often it seems to just mist rather than rain and I hate umbrellas. I have one of those short packable rain jackets from Land's End, but I would like to invest in a thigh-length waterproof jacket of some sort, preferably not too warm. I'm about an 18 on top and 24 on bottom, which makes long-coat-shopping difficult.  Have you seen anything which might fit my needs?

I have three letters for you: Q V C. I'm not kidding. When I was looking for a jacket earlier in the season, I was blown away by all of the outerwear options on the QVC website. And pretty much everything on the site is available in sizes up to 3X.

Given your sizes, I'd look for an A line cut and order by my top size. That will fit a lot better than going by your hip size and hoping for the best on top. The Dennis Basso line has a lot of really great jackets and coats so search for that name to see more. Some of the jackets are water resistant. The one pictured here is water repellent for $50, the item number is A71079.

And you know what else is really great? There's a section for each item where customers can write reviews. I love that because it says to me that QVC stands behind the quality of their products.

Eve asks:

I was wondering if you ever came across good ski clothes - especially pants. I have a ski trip coming up and I'm amazed at the lack of info out there for plus size ski clothes.

Head on over to Junonia. They have all kinds of plus size active wear, including three styles of ski pants and a whole bunch of jackets. Swoosh!

Have a question? You know what to do.

Looking for sundresses

Bekki asks:

I'm in a bit of a shopping tight spot. We're traveling to South America over Christmas, and I'm in need of a sundress type thing for nicer nights out. I'm thinking tank or short sleeves, maybe with a v-neck. It'll be fairly warm where we are, but the whole area is fairly casual. I do have a cute dress for New Year's Eve, but need something else...and of course it's totally the wrong time of year to be searching for this type of thing!

Christmas in South America? How fun! You're right, this isn't the prime time to find a summery dress but it can be done. You just have to know where to look.

The dress section at alight.com is the first place I'd check. They have many, many summery dresses all year round. I'm a sucker for black and white prints, so I selected the Snapshot Dress by Blue Plate, pictured left. I think it'd be so cute with a pink or turquoise cardigan on top if it gets a little chilly. This is one I like in particular but there are dresses of all shapes and colors to choose from.

Don't forget to check sales, clearance and outlet sections. Not only will you find pieces from the previous couple of seasons but you'll get them at a steal. The Silhouettes Outlet Store has a few summery dresses that are worth a look. Kiyonna and Torrid both have a good selection of sale and clearance dresses, too.

Have fun, Bekki! I hope you find the perfect dress for your vacay!

Have a question? I'm up for the challenge! Ask me here.

Your wardrobe is depressing me.

Sandra asks:

How do I get out of black zone? For all my adult life, I've worn black clothes. Black on black on black. It's easy, it's slimming (apparently), but it's now BORING! What are some basics I can start with to get out of the black zone?

First, black isn't always slimming. An ill fitting pair of pants is going to look bad even if they're the deepest jet black known to man. Black doesn't erase flaws! Pay attention to fit and proportion and that will flatter your shape much more than just going for "slimming." No amount of black clothes is going to hide your size. And if you've been wearing head to toe black for so long, that would lead me to believe that you're hiding in your comfort zone.

So how to get out of a color rut? I figure it's just like getting out of any other type of rut. First, you have to make a conscious decision to try new things. If you automatically gravitate to the black top in a stack of colorful options, put the black top down and grab a few in the other colors to try. If none of those colors work for you, walk away and try a different style in a different set of colors. Don't fall back on black purely out of habit and frustration.

Start small with things you're comfortable with and then amp it up as your confidence grows. There are obvious ways to do this - start with a basic piece, like a tank top to put under a jacket in a new color that isn't too bright or scary. Try a pair of gloves in bright red this winter instead of black. Starting small also allows you to experiment with different shades without a big commitment.

Think of colors you really like in everyday life. Is there a nail polish you use a lot? Try to find a scarf or top in that shade. Do you really love pink roses? Do you have a blue throw pillow that caught your eye instantly? Take a look at the colors you surround yourself with and work those into your wardrobe.

Then you can consider which colors are the most flattering for your skin tone, hair color, etc. I don't think there are truly hard and fast rules for this, just a little common sense. I'm super pale and wearing true green close to my face makes me look ill but teal green, with a bit of blue undertone, works very well.

Lastly, color is fun! It might be scary if you've left happy colors in the past but it's not hard to embrace color once again. You just have to believe that you can step away from head to toe black and have the confidence to shake things up.

So:

• Make a commitment to try new things.
• Start small.
• Look at the colors you surround yourself with.
• Consider which shades flatter you the best.
• Have some fun!

Have a question? Need some advice? Ask me here!

Where are all the sweaters?

Two questions about sweaters! Glib Gurl says:

Would you mind doing a post about sweaters?  They are my absolute favorite article of clothing but I have to say that I'm really disappointed with what I'm seeing this season... I'm hoping you can mine out some diamonds!

And then Veronica said:

OK, so it's gotten a bit chilly in the South. Well, chilly by our standards. I'm having my engagement photo session super soon and have been looking for a snuggly sweater to pair with a nice pair of cords or jeans. I've had no luck. Where are the great sweaters this season -- you know the ones that flaunt what God gave you up top while camouflaging mid-section flaws? Maybe I'm morphing into a bridezilla, but everything seems old lady-ish and bland...

There's a reason why I haven't done a post just about sweaters yet - I'm not feelin' it. I've looked high and low and nothing is knocking me on my ass with sweatery goodness.

I've bought three sweaters this season:

• A black cashmere sweater from QVC that I got on sale for $30 (ok, that was a good deal and for that, we do the dance of joy).
• A swingy (but only mildly so) cardigan from Target. It looks like this one but in purple and it most definitely is not a "coat." It's cute, though.
• A cable knit hoodie from Old Navy that's really comfy but also a size too big. I was too lazy to return it so I just wear it at home.
  

So if I've only found three sweaters that I feel are worth spending my money on, there's a PROBLEM. Maybe I'm being too picky? And I just want to point something out - the more you type the word "sweater," the more you realize that it has the word sweat in it. That's weird.

Anyway, it seems like Veronica up there is in need of a sweater right now, so I'll pull myself together and offer these suggestions.

Tweed and denim? Oh yes.

Claire asks:

I finally found a fantastic grey tweed blazer (Avenue) and some great fitting dark rinse jeans (Right Fits - just had to OD on the Febreze a few times...) All the fashion stuff I've seen says that I can wear these two items together, but I have NO CLUE what to wear under the blazer... I could probably find a camisole somewhere, but I tend to get hot in jackets and usually wind up taking them off. My arms are not made for public display - so HELP!! What should I be wearing, and what shoes do I wear as well? Thanks for this blog and for your time.

Hell yeah you can wear the jacket and jeans together! And by no means should you limit yourself to just a camisole if you are more comfortable in sleeves. Jackets can be layered over lots of other tops, depending on your style.

If you're more conservative and prefer classic styles, try the jacket over a thin knit turtleneck in black or just about any other color. For a more laid back look, go for a cotton tee with a neckline that you like. You can update the jacket and jeans combo with a top in a trendy color to keep the look fresh. You'll wear the jacket for many seasons to come and pair it with more current styles underneath. Easy!

I really like mixing styles. You can pair the more classically masculine jacket with a satin or silk shell, pretty jewelry and high heels for a feminine look. Or you can make it edgy with a t-shirt with a graphic print on the front and tuck the jeans into a pair of knee high boots. Have fun with patent accessories or big chunky jewelry.

Having said that, I know it's tempting but really, don't let anyone tell you what you should be wearing. I have lots of ideas but I'm not an expert about your style, and neither is anyone else. Finding what works best for you takes a lot of trial and error but once you have basic pieces that you're really in love with, be brave and have fun with experimenting. Fashion "rules" are all an illusion. There are guidelines and advice that you can turn to but you're smart enough to decide what suits you best.

Have a question? Need some advice? Ask me here!

What to do? What. to. do?

FFG asks:

OK, I have a fashion conundrum. My usual policy is to stop shopping at stores that don't treat their zaftig customers right. For example, if a store hides the Women's Plus section back in a dark corner by the restroom, or they move their plus collection to only online, I'll stop giving them my money. The dilemma: Old Navy now only carries Plus on their website, right? But, they carry my perfect pants. Something about their stretch, low-rise, bootcut trousers just fits me like a glove...er...a really well-proportioned pair of pants, anyway. What to I do? Let go of Old Navy because I can't shop in the store with the skinny girls, or keep buying my favorite pants? Any advice would be much appreciated.

FFG, this is one of those things that keeps me awake at night. Well, maybe not but I have thought about it a lot. I remember how very sad I was when Old Navy decided to make the plus size selection online only. I wrote about it here and I still feel the same. They pulled it out of the stores because it'd be more cost effective but they hardly did any advertising to let people know it was in the store to begin with.

Here's the issue - I could boycott Old Navy and never shop there again but I feel that I have very few choices of stores that carry my size and are in line with my style, and Old Navy is one of them. But if I continue to link to them off this blog and shop there myself, is that saying that I support their message? I don't know.