My thoughts on the NY Times piece

If you haven’t come across the New York Times "Fashion Reaches out to Heavier Young Women" article from Wednesday, go here and read it.

This quote from Stephanie Sack, owner of Vive La Femme (and all around awesome fashion chick) made me laugh:

She confided that when she was 20, “I would have choked somebody to get my hand on a studded belt to fit me.”

Word up, girl. I myself have nearly been driven to acts of violance in a maddening haze of fashion desperation.

Ok, now the serious part:

Andrea Marks, a specialist in adolescent medicine in Manhattan, suspects that “the vast majority of overweight girls are not so happy.” Apparent self-acceptance, she added, may be a cover for defiance or resignation.

I’ll get real for a minute and say that I dressed outrageoiusly as a teenager, partly to put up a facade of confidence and bad-assness. But I was a teenager and have you ever met a teenager who wasn’t putting up some kind of front? That’s what being a teenager is about! You adopt a persona that protects you from the reality of your utter dorkiness. It wasn’t just because I was fat. There are any number of ways that a teenager can feel like a freak. Being fat is just one of them.

And let’s think about this – maybe the “vast majority of overweight girls are not so happy” because they get about 15 million messages each day that they’re fat, stupid, ugly, unpopular, unlovable and fundamentally broken.

And sure, having access to cute clothes won’t fix the fact that we live in a world that hates fat people, especially fat women, and especially fat young women who don’t seem to know that their only role in life is to be skinny, pretty and popular.

Having more clothing options probably won’t change the stereotypes that fat girls are easy (or a prude), or unpopular (or loud mouthed attention whores) or stupid (or the smart, shy girl just waiting to be made over!), or any number of other cliches that have been so played out in the media and popular culture that they’re just accepted as truths.

But having access to basic consumer goods like, say, clothing does acknowledge that fat women are people with needs, like the need to fit in amongst their peers and feel normal. And what’s so bad about helping young women to overcome challenges like that so they can focus on the million other challenges of being a teenage girl?

Comments

[Lemons]

I completely agree with you. Nothing makes me more upset than when i go into a "regular" store and see a beautiful dress that I would rock the hell out of if it only came in my size. If larger women were celebrated instead of shamed the world would be a better place. People look at me and think I'm lazy because I'm overweight. What they don't know is that I bust my butt at the gym 3-4 days a week and run a 2-3 miles on the treamill 3 days as well. I'm probably healthier than those women! Just because I eat what I want and I ENJOY it doesn't mean I don't take care of myself. I bet a lot of other women feel the same way.

All teenagers are upset about something... be it acne, being too thin, being too fat, not being a good athlete... that's what being a teenager is all about! So to pigeonhole it to overweight teens is crap.

[Carrie]

>>But having access to basic consumer goods like, say, clothing does acknowledge that fat women are people with needs, like the need to fit in amongst their peers and feel normal

Very well said! I agree.

[SteveD]

Wow! Want me to drop by their office and kick em in the shins when I am in NYC next week?

Talk about riled up! But well said!

SteveD

[Christine]

You know, I never had much of a self-esteem problem as a fat child or teenager. I knew I was smart and sweet and pretty and generally all-around awesome.

I was just constantly sad and angry that none of my peers acknowledged these things (except a grudging admission that I was smart and could they please copy my homework), choosing instead to focus on the distribution of my adipose tissue. It pissed me off that people made so many assumptions about me, that I was lazy (I usually walked several miles a day, since my family didn't have a car) or gorged on sweets or fast food all the time (hard to do when you're dirt poor and can't even afford a Happy Meal).

It was these things which led me into eating disorder territory. I didn't hate my body--I hated that other people thought my body was ugly, and I thought the only way to change that was to diet.

[Bianca]

"I’ll get real for a minute and say that I dressed outrageoiusly as a teenager, partly to put up a facade of confidence and bad-assness. But I was a teenager and have you ever met a teenager who wasn’t putting up some kind of front?"

So much word. I was not fat when I was a teenager, but I was insecure as hell, and used tons of makeup and crazy clothes to cover it up.

[Lori]

Went to Vive La Femme today, because I'm lucky enough to live near Chicago. Thanks for mentioning it and linking to the NY Times piece. I came home with 3 gorgeous dresses and a skirt.