I’ve been hesitant to say that I’ve actually quit because that implies that I’ll never smoke another cigarette ever again. That’s my goal but realistically, a lot of people who quit fail on the first attempt, if not the first several attempts. I’m trying really hard, though and I’m doing pretty great!
I’ve been using nicotine lozenges to take the edge off the cravings. They’re kind of gross, though and give me a headache. I can’t imagine quitting cold turkey without some kind of nicotine replacement but I hope I can ditch the lozenges soon. I’ll take them as long as I need to, though.
I’ve been smoking since high school. I know I was about 15 the first time I took a little puff (and subsequently gagged like crazy) but I don’t recall when I became an actual smoker. I do know that I became more hooked in college because I could smoke in my dorm room (they’ve since banned that!).
Anyway, that means that I’ve been smoking for about 14 years. I’m not a heavy smoker but I am fully addicted. I’ve never tried to quit so I figured I’d at least give myself the chance. The funny thing is that I’ve never really gotten much from smoking. It’s just a pacifier that I’ve come to resent more and more over time.
There’s also the issue of being OMGDEATHFAT* and a smoker. Some fat people don’t like to eat in public. This fat person doesn’t like to SMOKE in public. I can FEEL people judging me!
I’m not quitting because of the social stigma but we’ll just add it to the pile of reasons, I guess. I hate that people think I really don’t care about myself or my health because I’m fat and I smoke. I made a stupid decision when I was young and got addicted. SORRY.
I will miss smoking, though. It’s a tough habit to break. I’m only a few days into it and I’ve had moments of frustration so intense that I cried a little. Just a little! I did tell my boyfriend that I’m allowed to have at least one or two major temper tantrums at some point. My fuse is shorter than usual but I’m trying not to be a hellbeast about it.
There are already good things happening, though! What people don’t tell you is that your sense of smell will come back very suddenly. It’s the weirdest thing, I can’t even explain it. It’s like the volume on my nose was turned up. I’ve clearly been wearing too much perfume, hah!
I’ll be sure to update on my progress, even if I do slip up. If you’ve quit smoking and have tips, please let me know what’s helped you.
* Death Fat is the weight at which random strangers become “concerned for your health,” above and beyond the weight at which they’re just offended that your fat ass has the nerve to exist in their range of vision.
One thing that helped me was to drink a glass of water every time I wanted a cigarette. Another is telling myself I was an adult and could have one if I ever really wanted one, that this was something I wanted to do. Third was getting really bad pneumonia, but I wouldn't recommend that one.
Posted by: Alix | May 02, 2009 at 07:20 PM
I quit smoking cold turkey after I got pregnant. That was a major motivator for me, but working in a grocery store with a lot of old angry people didn't make it easy. I found a big help for me was pens and straws. If I held them like I would a cigarette and even chew on them a little bit it helped. I was smoking 2-3 packs a day and my body was so used to the motion of smoking, that mimicking it helped a lot. That and I think I'm the reason carefree gum never needed a government stimulus.
Posted by: Cry | May 02, 2009 at 10:45 PM
Congratulations! I have several friends who have quit smoking over the past couple of years and I have so much respect for them all. Not easy. But doable! Hang in there!
Posted by: Susie | May 03, 2009 at 07:47 AM
Congratulations, you can do it! My grandmother died of lung cancer two years ago, I took care of her for the last four months of her life and it really scared me to see what happened.
Posted by: carrie | May 03, 2009 at 09:17 AM
Congratulations. It will be tough for sure. You'll have to keep us updated. ("Death fat" - nice definiation. LOL)
Posted by: Moe | May 03, 2009 at 02:45 PM
Good luck to you on the good fight!!
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Posted by: Yeah, I got curves. So what? | May 03, 2009 at 07:48 PM
Congrats! I quit the day I found out I was pregnant, July 23rd, 2007. It was the hardest four days of my life. It was like losing a best friend. Do I miss it now?... yeah, sometimes I get a craving but I just think of how bad people that smoke smell and I get over it fast! Good luck.
Posted by: Melissa | May 04, 2009 at 08:16 AM
Keep it up! Just think U can spend more on clothes instead of it going up in Smoke!
I watched my Wife quit. Not a easy road to travel.
SteveD
Posted by: SteveD | May 04, 2009 at 08:38 AM
Good for you and good luck!
Posted by: Gryph | May 04, 2009 at 11:33 AM
Congrats and good luck!
Posted by: C | May 04, 2009 at 03:54 PM
Sistren Colleen,
Peaceful greetings from Jamaica. I was raised in America. I started smoking when I was 14. I started on PallMalls and switched to Chesterfield King unfiltered. I was up to four packs a day and used one to light the other.
At age 50, I quit in a fit of anger at my husband who asked me to cut down on my smoking with a very condescending, "I know you aren't strong enough to quit, but could you maybe cut down on how much you smoke?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT STRONG ENOUGH ?!?!?!
From that day on, whenever I wanted a cigarette, I thought of two things. 1) I didn't want to admit to him that I couldn't do it. 2) I would think about licking the bottom of an ashtry, knowing that's what my mouth tastes like when I kiss my non-smoking husband.
Back then (1982) there were no nicotine patches, gums or lozenges. It was sheer white-knuckle, ride-the-rapids-naked, cold turkey. But I am glad to be a non-smoker.
Bless Up,
Lady Roots
Posted by: Lady Roots | May 06, 2009 at 10:30 AM
I quit on 12/17/06. I still miss it now and then. I had quite before using a nicotine patch. Was never able to stay with it and then once I started back up, I always smoked WAY more. The best thing for me was cold turkey. The withdrawal is more harsh but shorter. Good luck quitting! I;m pulling for you!
Posted by: Ashely G | May 06, 2009 at 03:18 PM
Keep it up!
FWIW, I think that when we talk about most quitters needing several tries to stay quit, we're setting ourselves up to need several tries to stay quit--we're setting ourselves up to fail.
(I'm 15 years quit [cold turkey, and yes, it sucked] from 2-3 packs a day. I stayed quit because I didn't ever want to go through the quitting again.)
Posted by: Mary | May 09, 2009 at 02:54 PM
Congrats on quitting! I quit 6 years ago and haven't had a cigarette since. (But there were MANY other attempts before this one so stick to it if you fall off the wagon!) It surprised me how much I missed smoking. I missed it daily probably for 3 years. Now I don't think about it daily, but it does still occasionally cross my mind! Keep up the attempt!
Posted by: Jill | May 14, 2009 at 11:06 AM
I recall reading that David Sedaris doesn't say he's "quit" - he says he's "finished". :) Dunno if that helps at all.
Posted by: living400lbs | May 20, 2009 at 01:59 PM