Carrie asks:
I'm wondering if anyone has recommendations regarding where to find a wedding dress to suit someone that is a) short, and b) plus size and c) hippy. I'm looking for something casual yet elegant, perfect for a garden wedding... no trains, no poufy skirts, no bows. I'm a size 20, and 5'4". My waist isn't well defined because I'm short in the torso. I'm thinking something that falls straight with a slight flow on the bottom might make sense? The other idea I've been kicking around is something with a v-neck shape. I have to get over my disdain for my upper arms as there aren't a lot of options that have arms (most are sleeveless that I've seen).
Carrie, the answer I'm about to give you comes directly from every episode of "What Not to Wear" I've ever seen. I can't take credit for any of it.
I'd look for a dress that falls to the knee or right below (RIGHT below, right under the kneecap), has an A line shape to the skirt, has a waist band that hits right under your bust, and a V neck, preferably of the wrap variety. The dress on the left from Lane Bryant is sold out but it's the shape I'm thinking of but the skirt is longer than what I'd look for. If you look for a dress that doesn't have layers or crinolines or whatever the fluff is, you can have a slightly too long dress shortened easily.
If a cocktail length dress is too informal and you want a long dress, still go for an A line shape for the skirt. A long, straight dress will make you look shorter than you are. An A line skirt and waist band right under the bust will create a waist and make your legs appear longer, and the V neck will draw the eye up and balance your hips. You're basically giving the illusion of an hourglass shape. If that's what you're looking to do, definitely go for more of an A line, rather than just a slight flow outwards at the hem.
As for your arms, many wedding dresses now are sleeveless and those that aren't flirt dangerously with looking dowdy. All I can say is that if you find a dress that's sleeveless but is perfect in every other way and you feel drop dead gorgeous in it, don't let your fear of baring your arms scare you away from the dress. I promise that your arms are fine and I haven't even seen them.
Good luck, Carrie! Let us know how your dress hunt goes.
Got a question? Need advice? Ask me here.
Hi. I hope this is not out of line, I just wanted to add one bit of advice that many women don't think of: try bridesmaids dresses. (Having just gotten married this past summer I've been there, believe me. Oh, and "garden wedding" do seem to be the magic words to get people in shops not to think you're nuts for wanting a simpler dress.) Especially when looking for less formal/no train, etc. this can be a great option, and most can come in white, if that's your thing. Sometimes you have to pay a bit more (boo fat tax!) but most companies do make plus sizes, and I think the sizing may be a little more forgiving than bridal gowns. Also, many come in different skirt lengths, and if you pick a dress with a simple hem, it can always be shortened to whatever length works for you. (this is prob a big "duh!" but not everyone thinks of this, so it seems worth mentioning, just in case.)
Here's a few I like that seem to fit reasonably well with Colleen's suggestions:
Siri Loren (if your bust is not too big)
Siri Loretta Young (sleeves!)
Jenny Yoo Rachel (also for smaller chests)
Aria 172 different neckline, but could be very pretty
Little Flowers Christine
(I very nearly got the Jenny Yoo Rachel, but the proportions were just too different from me, I actually ended up going custom -- which of course is another option --, based mostly on the shapes of that one and Siri Veronika, .)
eek! sorry for the novel, hope this is helpful and not just me being a buttinsky!
Posted by: monkey | January 21, 2008 at 12:15 AM
That's all awesome advice, Monkey! I haven't been in or around a wedding in a long, long time so my advice was based on a dress shape I think would compliment Carrie's body type. Getting insight from someone who's actually shopped for a dress is great!
Posted by: Colleen (Pretty Pear) | January 21, 2008 at 12:40 AM
If you end up with a sleeveless dress and aren't comfortable baring arms still, you can get a jacket made. Most bridal shops can order extra fabric from the dress and their alterations person can make up a little bolero or whatever. My sister who is getting married in May is having this done. Also, if you pick a dress with a not so simple hem, a lot of styles, they can take the measurement from the hollow of your collarbone to the floor and use that when making up the dress, so that you won't have to worry about hemming. My sister is far, far shorter than Carrie but isn't worried about having to get her dress hemmed because of this. My sis also didn't want fancy stuff like trains and bows, not because she wanted a simple dress, but because at five feet, she didn't want to be overwhelmed by her dress. I'm sure the perfect dress is out there. My sister was in and out of something like ten bridal shops before she found what she wanted.
Posted by: RoseCampion | January 21, 2008 at 08:37 AM
My sister's getting married and I've been dress-shopping a LOT recently. There are tons of these little bolero-y things that would work. That's not a look I would normally go for but some are pretty great. Also, if you like the look, long gloves could cover you.
Congratulations!
Posted by: Lucy | January 21, 2008 at 09:31 AM
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I knew I could get frank, helpful and good advice from Colleen and visitors to this blog! :) I looked at the Lane Bryant dress, but was worried about the a-line skirt. I think I understand what you're saying though, if the waist is a higher empire-style waist, it could create a silhouette that works. Re: my arms, they're not toned but if I found the perfect dress and that was the only factor holding me back, I'd go for it. I like the Loren Party dress too, it's a bit longer than what I'm thinking about, but other than that, it looks great. Thankfully, I'm not too chesty so it could work. Thanks again everyone!
Posted by: Carrie | January 21, 2008 at 09:49 AM
Oooh, Monkey, thanks for the links. I'm getting married and looking for something similar to what Colleen described in her post, and there's a couple of dresses on that Siri site I just fell in love with. (Not the one you linked to, because I am busty, but a couple similar ones with more coverage). And there's a store in my city that sells Siri bridesmaid and formal dresses.
Posted by: Becky | January 21, 2008 at 11:14 AM
I'd also suggest for someone whose waist is not well-defined, a princess-seam dress. It's a great style for giving waist definition while skimming the body nicely. Princess seams also gives a nice long line as the seams run from shoulder to hem. Get it in a beautiful, rich-looking fabric.
I'd also suggest keeping the frills and frippery to a minimum. That kind of stuff will give the illusion that you are larger than you are. The same goes for the big pouffy dresses that look like a meringue exploded. They'll make you look shorter and wider.
Posted by: Geogrrl | January 21, 2008 at 11:37 AM
I'd also suggest having a look at the blogs "Manolo for Brides", under "dresses", and "Manolo for the Big Girl", using a search for "wedding".
I'm sure you'll find something that looks fabulous.
http://manolobrides.com/category/dresses/
http://manolobig.com/index.php?s=wedding
Posted by: Geogrrl | January 21, 2008 at 01:05 PM
I'm no expert on wedding industry sizing, but if you're widening the search to include "regular" white dresses, bear in mind that dress sizes are SO varied. A size 20 is *right* on the border of plus and misses sizing-- if you see a dress you're interested in, try it on even if it's the "wrong" size or in the "wrong" department. I bet you could fit into some smaller things than you'd think- and as we plus sized gals know, your options open up drastically when you're a size 18 or smaller.
Posted by: a. | January 21, 2008 at 03:35 PM
>>>and as we plus sized gals know, your options open up drastically when you're a size 18 or smaller.
I howled when I read this! :) It's so insane how the clothing industry works. If I lose 10-15 lbs then I might be able to find a dress that I want because it might be a size 16-18 (and even at that, not sure how wide the selection is, given the difference between a plus 16 and a regular 16). What is so wrong with EVERYONE having access to affordable, fashionable clothing? Phew, glad I was able to vent. The more dresses I look at, the more obvious the craziness of the fashion industry. :)
Posted by: Carrie | January 21, 2008 at 06:18 PM
I know nothing of wedding dresses But as a person that doesnt like her arms but loves sleeveless shirts I have found that tanning does wonders !! makes all the bumps and lumps less noticable and also somehow makes my arms look more toned ! ...
Posted by: Holly | January 22, 2008 at 11:40 AM
Agree about a tan on your arms - really does help smooth out the bumps and lumps!
I wore a strapless dress for my wedding, and had a wrap made of a gauze like material. I never felt my arms were overexposed, it was great!
Posted by: Sandra McGechan | January 23, 2008 at 01:25 PM
Carrie, I swear by Aria--they're at www.ariadress.com. They make bridesmaids' dresses, but they also make their dresses in white. They have very simple, classic designs and they're beautifully made. I'm a 20/22P, and I only wish I'd known about them when I got married! I bought myself an Aria dress for a wedding several years ago and I've since worn it to many other formal occascions. Good luck, and congratulations on your engagement!
Posted by: Clementine | January 25, 2008 at 01:58 PM
Good luck, Carrie! And awesome stuff you have in here, Colleen.
Posted by: red_delicious | January 25, 2008 at 07:55 PM
You might also want to look at the two wedding dresses on kiyonna.com. Here is the link: http://www.kiyonna.com/plus-size-clothing/Bridal_Dresses. The shorter dress seems right up your alley.
Good luck and be sure to post pics.
MJ
Posted by: MJ | January 27, 2008 at 06:05 PM
Carrie--
I'm a size 16/18 and 5'4" with a very curvy shape and here's the dress I'm going with for my July wedding:
http://www.maggiesottero.com/dress.aspx?pageSize=8&page=4&style=A3088
The v-neck is actually very flattering on my larger chest (I'm a DD), and the thicker straps balance it out. Any type of strapless just gave me a uniboob. Also---what I really loved about the dress was the corset backing. It gives me a fantastically defined waist! This dress also has a slightly dropped waist, which lengthens my waist (I'm fairly short waisted too). I'm planning on hemming off the train, and keeping it ankle length I think, but perhaps making it cocktail length.
Good luck!
Kara
Posted by: cileag | January 28, 2008 at 09:22 AM
My suggestion is if you feel great in the dress and you feel comfortable in it then everyone at that wedding is going to be floored because they will perceive you as you perceive yourself.... my suggestion is get some accessories, make yourself feel like a million bucks!!! Buy some jewelry (premiumpearl.com, artfulwears.com, try these sites they have some great pieces) and of course shoes!!! (zappos.com, amazon.com, ebay.com and bluefly.com offer a great selection on shoes including designer shoes for a fraction of the actual retail price.) I would also recommend maybe an amazing wrap and maybe a great clutch to go with those fabulous shoes!!!!
Again have fun with these accessories and enjoy the wedding....
Posted by: Vann | February 01, 2008 at 11:59 AM