The Pretty Pear

This jacket wants to come live with me

I'm hoping this black satin trench coat from Torrid will go on sale soon. I'm trying to be good and not buy things I don't need but that's one cute jacket. It's not too jazzy for daytime and it'd be really perfect with trousers for a special night out. And y'know, the holidays are coming. Perfect party outfit jacket!

I probably wouldn't get a ton of wear out of it before it got too cold so I'm resisting. But! If you live in a warmer climate, you might wear it all the time. Every day! And then you can let me borrow it.

Hey, look! Cute bags!

I have a major weakness for inexpensive, yet seriously adorable cotton tote bags. I think that a good quality leather (or leatherish) everyday bag has a place in most women's wardrobes but I tend to use my cotton totes more often. And interestingly, I've gotten more compliments on an extremely simple $5 tote with a bright polka dot print than any of my more expensive bags.

I spotted this floral graphic tote from Old Navy and had to have it immediately. I love the print, especially because it's just creeping up from the bottom and doesn't cover the entire bag. It's a little unexpected. The bag is 18 inches wide so it'd make a good shopping companion and at $12.50, it's a fun little splurge. It also comes in gray and red.

This squirrel lovers tote bag from Torrid isn't exactly a mature choice in handbags. It's actually really silly. But you know what? It's hanging in my closet right this second. I laugh a little every time I look at it and if something brings a smile to my face, even if it is a little dorky, what's so bad about that? Look at the crazy bunnies!

I don't think that clothes and accessories have to be all business, all the time. I work from home and I dress casually 95% of the time so I don't really need anything that's office appropriate. If you do have to dress up every day, why not have a little fun with your weekend bag? 

Annnnnd....

I think I'll stick to fashion posts for right now. I have a lot to say about Fat Acceptance and fat issues but I need some time to think things out. These are important issues and I want to make sure my thoughts are organized. My last post was written at about 3 am and I maybe didn't say things exactly the way I wanted to. I do stand behind my views, though. Just keep this in mind - we're all in this together. I don't think less of people who diet or have weight loss surgery. I just think the focus needs to be shifted to fat people and not just fat. Dieting and WLS shouldn't be allowed to divide us when we're all ultimately fighting for the same things.

Anyway. Back to fashion.

In case anyone's wondering...

Diets - I don't think they're a good idea. In fact, my own personal experiences and reading a lot of solid evidence has proven to me that dieting is a really bad idea. I'm just as fat, if not fatter, than I would've been had I never dieted at all and the only thing dieting ever gave me was a neurotic obsession with food and the calories therein. Actively trying to lose weight never made my life any happier or my body any healthier. In fact, dieting never made me anything but miserable after the initial optimism wore off.

Weight loss surgery - Another bad idea that could potentially lead to disaster. It sickens me that so many people elect to have their stomachs essentially amputated in an act of desperation. At the very least, I think it should be considered only in the most extreme situations, if at all. For clarification, being 40 pounds "over weight" is not an extreme situation. The fact that so many doctors are willing to perform the surgery on those who are not even medically "obese" is just a testament to how desperate people are to be thin. And it's true, we live in a society that values a dead fat person over a live fat person. At least the dead fat person tried to conform.

I know what it's like to live in a body that the world is telling me will ultimately break down and that my existence is worthless because of something as trivial as my weight. Someone left a comment and asked what size I wear - I'm a 22/24 in tops and a 26 in most jeans. My BMI (urgh) is 51%. Supposedly, HALF of my body is fat.

Cutie cute flats in wide widths

Remember when the only shoes you could find in wide widths were frumpy and completely unappealing? I've always had wide feet, it runs in my family, so it's a delight to me that I can find so many cute shoes online now. Even better, flats are still super hot and totally versatile. Here are some options.

These Type Z  Maryann flats in black and white tweed are cuter from the top view. They come in sizes 5 - 12, medium and wide widths. They're available in solid colors but I love the tweed.

For a more subtle tweed, check out these Stuart Weitzman pointed toe Obladi flat in gray. How cute is this modified mary jane? I love the little strap! These come in sizes 4 - 12, narrow - wide widths.

I love pointy toes but sometimes super pointy isn't super comfy. These Mode flats from Type Z are pointed but not too pointed. Check out that killer buckle detail. They're available in the brown, black, and navy. Sizes 5 - 12, narrow - wide widths.

I don't want to use the "H" word just yet but these velvet skimmers from Silhouettes are perfect for the upcoming season that shan't be named. Just wrap yourself in a cozy sweater and slip into these flats and pretend that it will be fall forever. They come in medium through extra wide widths, sizes 7 - 12.

Looking for something a little dressier? These Marnie flats by LifeStride, from shoes.com can add a touch of glam to a simple evening outfit. Or wear them with jeans for some casual daytime fun. They also come in black and gray patent.

Is it Friday yet?

Here's some sexy to get you um... excited... for the weekend. All of these saucy little numbers are from Hips & Curves. As you can see, I'm a fan of pink and black. I'll hide them under the cut in case you're pretending to work...

Holly Aiken bags on sale

I've written about Holly Aiken bags before because she makes super cute bags that are as durable as they are stylish. I've got good news - they're 25% off from now until Halloween, October 31st. And you'll get free shipping on your order, too.

 

Speaking of Lane Bryant...

You can receive free ground shipping on a $100 purchase from the website through October 26th, no coupon code necessary. This means you can use one of the other great Lane Bryant coupons and save even more! Whee! That's the sound of my credit card jumping for joy.

A comment from a Lane Bryant employee

A reader named Vicki left this comment on one of my posts about Lane Bryant's Right Fit jeans. I think it's worth bumping up into its post. Vicki, I hope you don't mind. If so, let me know and I'll delete it.

----

Hi, I work for Lane Bryant and I have a few comments. First they are aware of the smell of the right fit jean and stores should have the non smelling ones now or soon to be. Please don't run into the store yelling at the associates demanding the jeans when that store might not have them yet. Some LB's have the Houston (black only) in the right fit as well.

When we first were trained on how to size the customer it seemed cut and dry. Then when it came to trying them on is something different. Here it goes when being measured for the blue for some reason we have to go down 3 sizes. Don't understand why but we are learning and thats what we came up with. Yellow is 1 or 2 sizes down. Red is 2 to 3 down. If you like our old fit get the red. Most people can wear the reds. It's the yellow and blue that are so extreme. You can't be both.

Declutterizing

I donated a ton of clothes and shoes to a local charity shop today and I feel GREAT. This stuff has been sitting in a big box on my bedroom floor for months and I was so happy to finally see it go. I considered trying to sell some of it but in the end, I knew it'd just sit there until I gave it away anyway.

Plus, the clothes went to a good cause. They'll sell the stuff and use the money to fund a community health care organization. Everyone wins!

I'm one step closer to my goal of having a more workable wardrobe. Most of what I gave away was stuff I liked when I bought it but then it got old within a few months. Trendy is awesome but you can't build an entire wardrobe with trends. It just doesn't work out well in the long run.

What to do? What. to. do?

FFG asks:

OK, I have a fashion conundrum. My usual policy is to stop shopping at stores that don't treat their zaftig customers right. For example, if a store hides the Women's Plus section back in a dark corner by the restroom, or they move their plus collection to only online, I'll stop giving them my money. The dilemma: Old Navy now only carries Plus on their website, right? But, they carry my perfect pants. Something about their stretch, low-rise, bootcut trousers just fits me like a glove...er...a really well-proportioned pair of pants, anyway. What to I do? Let go of Old Navy because I can't shop in the store with the skinny girls, or keep buying my favorite pants? Any advice would be much appreciated.

FFG, this is one of those things that keeps me awake at night. Well, maybe not but I have thought about it a lot. I remember how very sad I was when Old Navy decided to make the plus size selection online only. I wrote about it here and I still feel the same. They pulled it out of the stores because it'd be more cost effective but they hardly did any advertising to let people know it was in the store to begin with.

Here's the issue - I could boycott Old Navy and never shop there again but I feel that I have very few choices of stores that carry my size and are in line with my style, and Old Navy is one of them. But if I continue to link to them off this blog and shop there myself, is that saying that I support their message? I don't know.

Oh, right! Halloween!

You might be wondering how it got to be the middle of October and I haven't posted about Halloween costumes yet. The truth is, every year I go stomping all over the internet searching for good websites that offer plus size costumes and every year, I'm underwhelmed.

This post from Manolo for the Big Girl pretty much sums up my feelings about the cheap n' slutty Halloween costumes you'll find via most mass costume retailers. I'm ok with sexy. I embrace sexy!  I also embrace creativity and sticking kitty ears on your head and slipping into a skirt cut so short I can see your other kitty doesn't say "creative" to me.

If you're invited to a Halloween party at the last minute and decide to go with an easy "Naughty Whatever" costume, just be aware that you will not be the only Naughty Whatever at that party and chances are, you'll spend the whole night telling people what the heck you're supposed to be. A costume that requires more than three or four words of explanation isn't a costume so much as an outfit with confusing accessories.

Ok, I don't have ALL the answers!

I was a little worried that no one would submit questions. I'm glad I was wrong. Keep them coming, I love it. Having said that, I knew there'd be questions I might not know the answers to and that's where you come in. Let's see...

Inz asks:

I'm currently planning a trip to Europe next spring, my first time over there, and I'm looking for shopping recommendations. Do they have many options for plus-size clothes? Specifically, I'm going to be in Paris, Florence, Madrid & Barcelona.

I was wondering where plus size ladies shop in Europe in this post last year and there are a lot of great comments. Does anyone out there have more tips for Inz?

Carrie asks:

Any suggestions for finding modern plus-size fashions for those of us up north in Canada? Some online retailers offer international shipping while others don't... There are few plus-size retailers in Canada, however, most of them aren't offering modern clothing or anything suitable for career wear.

DowdyDiva suggested Addition-Elle, which I've heard good things about as well. Where else can one find nice plus size clothes in Canada?

Speaking of Canada, Jennifer asks:

I am Canadian and going to Houston for work next week. What American plus sized stores can I look for at the Galleria and other large malls?

I found this directory of stores at the Galleria and now I kind of want to visit Houston. Wowza. I'm not seeing a Lane Bryant but most malls do have one of those. They have a Torrid, which is great for trendy stuff. The department stores, like Nordstrom, should have a nice plus size selection. And look at all the shoe stores! Fun! Anyone out there in Houston have suggestions for Jennifer?

Here's one I can answer. JC asks:

I will be visiting Chicago the weekend of October 19, and have been looking for non-chain, plus size clothing stores - without much success!

The only non-chain plus size store in Chicago I know of is Vive La Femme. Their website is under construction but the address is there so you can map it. If you're going to be downtown, head to Nordstrom and Nordstrom Rack, Ashley Stewart, Macy's (it's not that great but eh, worth a shot), the Avenue on State Street and the Lane Bryant on Wabash. I spotted another plus size store in that general area but the name escapes me.

Finally, Catherine asks:

I'll be visiting New York at the end of October and would love to do a little plus-size shopping while I'm there -- but I can't think of any designers or shops to visit. What would you recommend for a shopping spree in NYC?

I honestly have no idea, Catherine. Any New Yorkers out there have suggestions?

If you've asked a question that I haven't answered yet, don't fret. I'll answer it very soon.

A budget? What?

Glib Gurl asks:

I'm wondering how much you spend on clothes and accessories? Do you regularly budget for it? Also, do you plan most of your shopping or do you buy stuff when the mood strikes?

First, Ms. Glib has been reading and commenting for years so I want to thank her for that :)

So the short answer is "Heck no!" I'm pretty impulsive and I don't really budget beyond "Gee, I should cut back a little on the spending." I don't give myself a real clothing spending allowance or anything like that.

The longer answer is that I do have some decent shopping habits. Each season, I take stock and decide what I need specifically. For instance, right now I know I need some new sweaters so I'm keeping an eye out for sales. I go through my bras and panties every few months to make sure those are in good shape and then stock up on what I need during a sale or use a coupon. There are staple items that I buy over and over so again, I wait for a sale and stock up. I comparison shop as much as possible and try to get the best value.

Questions quickies

From the questions thread, Sara asks:

Do you (or any of your readers) shop at Silhouettes? I think their catalog styling is awesome, but the one dress I ordered from them I had to send back because it was frumpy and basically a bag on me. Anyone else have better experiences?

I've never ordered from Silhouettes but Joan offered a good response and says that she always sizes down. I've been wanting to order from there so I can write a review but all of their tops are way, way too long for me. I'll keep looking, though!

Cait asks:

I now feel great [in] my new wide calf boots, but where are the wide calf knee socks? I hate wearing nylons/tights, but the regular socks bunch unattractively under the boot. Any advice?

If you're wearing the boots with pants, a nice pair of quality trouser socks might be a good idea. Check out the Spanx topless trouser socks, available from Lane Bryant. The description says

"Socks stay up with a special knitting technique: no more binding leg band to cause annoying shin dig. Stays in place all day, no sagging. New technology wicks moisture away to keep feet dry and comfy in shoes."

You might be able to fold them down once or twice to hide them under the boots if you're wearing a skirt. They're $10 and come in black and brown.

Lala asks:

i am looking for a pucci inspired dress and i completely forget the designer who does plus size "pucci" on the website there are mostly black models and dresses are in the $300 range. can you help me out?

The only site that comes to mind is Monif C. but maybe another reader has ideas?

Have a question? Ask me here!