There was a discussion on fatshionista recently about being catcalled and hit on in public. I'd call that "positive" attention - where a guy just has to let you know that you're so beautiful he's about to die, whether you want to hear it or not (usually not). That kind of thing rarely happens to me, hardly ever. But I do get negative attention once in a while.. like just a few minutes ago!
Y'know, it's bad enough that it's hot out and I just got my period like an hour ago so I feel like crap, but then a car full of guys has to harass me? They drove by, talking shit to me out their windows so I gave them a nice, big fat smile and flipped them off. They then all hollered "Fat bitch!" at me, of course. Because I was rude enough to tell them to go fuck themselves, that makes ME the fat bitch. Not just fat, and not just a bitch, but a FAT BITCH. I don't think I've been called that (to my face) since high school.
I'm assuming they were drunk and coming from a Cubs game, 'cause that's really the only time I see straight, obnoxious men in my neighborhood. I fully realize they only said anything to me because they're jerks and wanted to look cool, and I appear to be an easy target. Say it to my face, asshole and see who's an easy target.
And they wouldn't have said anything to me if I wasn't alone. It's exactly like reliving middle school - the boys feel like they have to be big, tough guys in front of each other, so they pick someone who appears to be weak and make fun of them to make themselves look strong. I understand all of the psychology behind it and it still pisses me off. It's not okay!
I really should have taken my own advice and ignored them but I've had a craptastic week and this just set me off. Flipping them off was a knee jerk reaction. I probably would have actually said something if there was a chance they could have heard me, which I doubt. There's also always the chance that they'd stop the car and get out, in which case I'd be really screwed.
I do advise ignoring people in these types of situations. I want to stand up for myself but it's not worth it if something really horrible happens. They were probably drunk and I really don't think it's in my best interest to antagonize a group of drunk guys.
I don't even feel insulted. Uh yea, I am fat, thanks for the update. And I could have been any fat woman on any street, it wasn't about me. They're probably driving around right now, harassing women of all sizes because it's fun, I guess. My only wish is that their car breaks down in a bad neighborhood, right after talking shit to someone :)
Same jerks were in area yesterday. Picking up trash some moron had throw out and someone yelled out "pussy" or such. Maby "wossy". I dare them to stop and say that to my face.
It might come out "ahaaaaaaaaaaa" stop shoving my arm up my asshole.
Amazing how many Moron's out there nowdays. Glad to see you vent about it.
I have seen your picture here and hey their is somone for everyone.
SteveD
Posted by: SteveD | June 16, 2007 at 05:27 PM
What complete and utter crap! I can't believe this still happens! Actually today I wore a sleeveless dress, and although I'm not overweight, I wondered if I really did have the figure for it. The insecure part of me thought, "what if guys make fat remarks to me?" (as would have likely been the case as a teen when I was overweight). Then I thought, "wait a minute! I'm in my late 20's! People aren't suppose to do that anymore!" I can't believe they do! What asses.
Posted by: Megan | June 16, 2007 at 11:18 PM
REALLY sorry this happened to you. I had a lot of the obsesso fans last night - but they're never enough to make up for the damage done by these kinds of remarks.
on a bright side, if it hadn't happened, i wouldn't have found your link to hipsandcurves.com and never would have found the plus size petticoat skirt i've been seeking (for over a year) for my workouts. so, THANK YOU!!
Posted by: LeendaDLL | June 17, 2007 at 02:37 AM
I am a trainwreck when it comes to things like that. Negative attention, even if hardly negative or absolutely positive attention, makes me hate myself and want to die. I'm working on that little aspect of myself. I work on a college campus where I am constantly surrounded by beautiful, thin girls (who I know have issues because my god, who doesn't anymore?) and boys who are just...boys. I was walking down the sidewalk one day on my lunch break last summer. It was very hot and I was incredibly self-conscious of walking down the sidewalk next to a very busy street because my ass! it jiggles! when a carload of these college boys drove by and one took a second to pay me the compliment of "FAT ASS!!!!" The entire car burst into laughter and I wanted to just melt into the ground and disappear.
So, um, yeah. I really should've just flipped them off.
Posted by: Sparkle Pants | June 23, 2007 at 11:42 AM
i've gotten various similarly awesome comments. its always someone whos driving by that you can't really reply to - like, no one's going to say something like that and stick around, you know? of course, i also live in college town - its amazing how many seemingly uneducated boys flock to college towns.
Posted by: brittany | June 25, 2007 at 09:44 AM
In high school, I once drove around with a car full of girlfriends, and although we didn't plan it, we ended up driving around the beach area yelling out the window at guys our age who were walking alone. it freaked every single one of them out.
don't feel bad. a woman once called me a fat bitch because she was turning without stopping at a stop sign when i was trying to cross. it devastated me for about six months. no, seriously.
Posted by: coyote | June 28, 2007 at 10:19 PM
I was at Osco the other night and walked past the photo dept. minding my own. I heard teenage jerk #1 behind the couter say to teenage jerk #2 in a stage whisper, "she's a big assed bitch." I shouted over from the next isle, "A big assed bitch with perfect hearing, asshole." It's never gonna stop. All you can do is roll on.
Posted by: Meg | August 23, 2007 at 11:46 PM
I know how you feel.
Awhile ago I was walking with my cousin when she lived in another town, and a car full of obnoxious jerk guys drove past us and yelled "Fat asses!" I yelled "fuck you!" and I'm usually not that way unless something like that happens and it completely set me off.
My cousin and I were bored, and we spelled out "fuck you" with nearby stones on the sidewalk. I was so pissed of the remainder of the day. I've head similar experiences all throughout my life, especially in school
Us bigger women are so pushed down in the dirt it isn't even fucking funny
I have tried so many times before to lose weight, only to gain it all back!
I feel like I'll always be stuck at somewhere around 235-240 lbs (I am 5' 7")
Posted by: Amber | January 11, 2008 at 02:15 AM