There are certain rules that I live by in life. They're not strict rules that I follow to the T every single day but are more like guidelines that help me navigate the world as a plus size woman. Some of these rules help me choose clothing and some of them help me choose an attitude. In this series of posts, the Chubby Commandments, I will share with you these rules and you can adopt them as your own if you wish.
Commandment One
Thou shall wear only clothing that fits and flatters the body you have right now.
I chose this as the first commandment because I know that many women have issues with buying new clothes, especially if they're dieting or hoping that the Thin Fairy will wave her wand and create a tight bottom. They might say "I don't really deserve new clothes" or "I'm going on a diet and I'm going to lose weight. What's the use of having new things if I won't be needing them soon?"
The first statement is just silly. Fat women don't deserve new clothes? That sounds an awful lot like a punishment to me and we do not punish ourselves for being overweight. That's a quick way to kill one's self esteem. So get the "I don't deserve nice things" idea out of your head right now.
I can understand the second statement a little more but here's what I think. I think that if you wear clothes that fit and flatter your body, you'll feel better about yourself, you'll walk a little taller, you'll be a little more confident and you'll have a little more self esteem. And we all know that to reach any goal in life, one's self esteem is the foundation that all achievements are built upon.
I'm not saying that you have to go out and replace your entire wardrobe but there are some things you should own that fit your body RIGHT NOW and make you feel good. For example, a good pair of jeans in a cut that's right for your body type, have a dark wash that won't go out of style, and are a comfortable fit that allows you to move.
If you put something on and it doesn't make you feel good, don't wear it. Life is too short for frumpy dumpy clothes.
Commandment Two
Thou shall never use the word "hate" in relation to one's body.
How many bodies do you have? Me, I have one. My butt is wide but it never did anything to me personally. It never said mean things about me behind my back (despite ALWAYS being behind my back.. hehe). It never did anything that would warrant hatred. It does its job just fine. I can sit on it, I can shake it if I'm in the mood, I can point to it and say "Kiss this!"
We all have parts of our bodies that we'd like to change but saying that we hate these certain parts is like saying we hate ourselves. Try as you might, you can't disconnect yourself from the parts you don't like. They're yours. I'm not saying you have to LOVE LOVE LOVE these things but please try accepting them as they are.
How can you hate the one thing in life that is truly, 100%, entirely YOURS?
More commandments to come :)
Well said, well said. Deserving to be etched in stone.
Posted by: Derek | November 30, 2004 at 02:33 AM
Very true. These have been my commandments also, even though I have a big belly instead of a big bottom. Wanna swap? ;-)
Posted by: Silvia | November 30, 2004 at 02:45 AM
They are good commandments, but I, alack, have personal problems with them. Not so much so with, say, the Big Belly Issue (which I am learning to endure, if nothing else), but with body parts that have turned on me like a pit viper. Them I hate. I hate 'em with a passion. I hate the the dreariness, fear, inconvenience and, um "discomfort" of having them scooped out on a periodic basis, and I hate not knowing which one's going to go next. :P
Posted by: Dolley | November 30, 2004 at 11:08 AM
Perfect commandments. They should be posted on the walls of women's houses and clothing stores everywhere.
Posted by: Claire | November 30, 2004 at 12:42 PM