I hate when someone thinks they're being nice and paying you a compliment when, really, they're just politely insulting you. Here is a list of some of my favorite back-handed compliments and what they really mean.
1. "You have such a pretty face."
What this means: You have such a pretty face but I can hardly see it because it's outshadowed by your huge ass. I hear variations of this on a consistent basis.
2. "That outfit is so slimming!"
What this means: You did a good job of hiding under that black tent you call a dress.
3. "You'd be so beautiful... if only you'd lose some weight."
What this means: You're already beautiful, I'm just not comfortable with it because you don't fit into my cookie-cutter ideal of beauty.
4. "She's such a nice girl."
What this means: By "nice" I mean she's either ugly or fat, or both. But MAN what a personality!
5. "Did you lose weight?"
What this means: If it is said by a family member it means "Please tell me you lost weight." If it is said by anyone else, they're kissing your ass.
6. "You're pretty hot... for a fat chick."
What this means: You're pretty hot. <- period
so SO right on!!
Posted by: ruthie | September 02, 2003 at 03:23 AM
Or I'll insert my favorite:
"You're pretty hot - for a skinny chick."
Posted by: Derek | September 02, 2003 at 03:26 AM
right on chica!
For the record, I'm just hot! ;)
Posted by: mel | September 02, 2003 at 09:14 AM
Yes. I particularly love the 'pretty face' comment. Nothing like a backhanded compliment.
Posted by: Melanie | September 02, 2003 at 09:50 AM
Man, how many times in my life have I heard all of these?
Not related to weight, but: one time, ON THE BUS, a man sitting across from me said "Damn, you're a fine woman... got a big nose, though."
Posted by: Maureen | September 02, 2003 at 11:27 AM
I always got "You have such pretty hair!" Wow thanks! WTF? And of course I'm very nice and sweet and smart, never pretty though.
Posted by: Grace | September 02, 2003 at 11:51 AM
I swear, if I were ever President, I would make it a capital offense to utter comment number 6!!! Argh!
Posted by: Ari | September 02, 2003 at 08:10 PM
Ive heard 1-3 quite a few times....
Posted by: Megan | September 02, 2003 at 08:36 PM
Yup, you've certainly nailed the classics. Luckily, no one dares say anything like that to my face anymore.
Posted by: Elizabeth | September 02, 2003 at 11:38 PM
Colleen: I'm sure you are right about items 1-6 but if I said: "You have such a pretty face." I would mean it but it certainly wouldn't mean: "but I can hardly see it because..."
If some girl is pretty hot, she is pretty hot and that's that.
Something that I haven't seen mentioned on your site is that some people suit extra weight much more that any other body size. Offhand the best example I can think on is Rene Zelwegger.
Personally the biggest groin-achingly-horny turn-ons for me are someone's personality and the way they 'suit thier skin'. That goes right across the board regardless of size. I'm not the only one who is like this. I have seen plenty of guys who literally couldn't take thier eyes off a confident, sexy fat girl who walked past them.
BTW: If any friend of mine said any of the nasty stuff (above) to anyone else, they would be struck off the list. Period.
Posted by: irry | September 04, 2003 at 12:44 PM
If I had a nickel for every time I heard one of those....
Posted by: earthy1 | September 04, 2003 at 10:18 PM